MY FIVE SONGS

ONE

Tim Minchin - Drowned. This may be my favourite song of all time, when all others chop and change I can always listen to this and love it. Tim Minchin is a musical comedian and that's how I grew to love him, I've seen him live with an orchestra and was blown away. This him doing serious, and he can do serious very well. I am adamant that this song will be used if I were ever to get married somehow. I will find a way to get it in there somehow. To me it is the most beautiful song that exists, and that's simply it.

TWO

Les Miserables - Bring Him Home. This song has the most emotional meaning for me. It started generally with my love of musicals and it always struck a nerve. When my father passed away my mother asked if we could use it as his song at the funeral. This happened during my GCSEs at school. My music GCSE exam was about a week after the funeral and the final song we had to analyse was "Bring Him Home". I had to sit and listen to the song three times in a row and then write an essay about it. My music teacher, who was at the funeral as he knew my father, came up to me and asked if I wanted to leave. I didn't. This song reminds me of so many things and makes me remember my determination and, quite frankly, how strong I can be in situations like that. It makes me proud that such a fantastic song was chosen to represent my father.

THREE

I Gotchoo - Bowling for Soup.  You know how every couple has "songs"? This is my boyfriend and I's. Most of the lyrics don't make sense, but it's upbeat, happy and I love it. A lot of this album I always felt represents Rob and I. There's a song about seeing somebody in December and then not being able to see them again until Summer and another song about being half way around the world, being just a day behind. This is exactly what happened to us when I chose to go to America to study, and we still stayed together strong. This song in particular is our favourite, the lyrics of the verses have no particular meaning to us like the others, but the bouncy happiness of the entire song really reflects what we're like as a couple.

FOUR

Gregory and the Hawk - Boats and Birds. Coming the end of this list, I've realised all the songs chosen have all got sappy, soppy reasons behind them. I guess I'm just an overly sentimental person. Especially here, we have song five. This is Cole's song. She wrote this on a letter before I went to University and it has been our "song" ever since. We've planned to have tattoos based on this song and it will always remind me of her.

FIVE

Calamity Jane - Black Hills of Dakota.

“Take me back to the black hills
the black hills of Dakota
to the beautiful Indian country
that I love.

Lost my heart in the black hills
the black hills of Dakota.
Where the pines are so high
that they kiss the sky above

and when I get that lonesome feelin'
and I'm miles away from home...”

To stand and watch a sunrise over a snow topped mountain for the first time. A pinky, purpley mixture of glorious hues blending together to create a smile of the morning. There is no one else around to see it but that doesn't matter. This sunrise is not theirs. This sunrise is for you. You could be watching this in a far less beautiful place than right here. You start to cry. You feel a little silly admitting that now, crying at a sunrise like you're in some sort of stereotypical movie moment. But if a crew were filming and captured that specific shot, establishing sunrise, zoom in on face, of tears, they wouldn't be capturing a girl desperately missing her family or a girl that was somehow strangely offended by the sun. They would be capturing a scene in which a thousand dreams were realised.

In a small, clandestine cabin, situated directly opposite a ski slope you wake up to most perfect view you have ever opened your eyes to. You feel very cliché talking about it. The scene of your first Thanksgiving, and hopefully not your last. It seemed like you were there forever. It seemed you were there for two seconds. But in reality you're actually in the Black Hills for four days.

You are staying with a friend from college, Scott, and his family. They are an amazing family. A gran, a granddad, a mother, a father, an aunt and uncle both couples with two children each. They are a perfect nuclear family, totally reflecting the ‘typical American’ view. You know many people would argue with you describing a nuclear family as perfect, but to you it is. Sure, they have their little spats, but it was full of love and happiness – truly what a Thanksgiving is all about.

Scott however, does not fit the bill, and labels himself as the 'black sheep of the family' He wears baggy jeans with hand-sewn patches on, one dread-lock in his pink hair, a vegetarian, gay, atheist anarchist. When thrown in with a family of 'stereotypical' Americans, you can imagine the fun to be had.

But, even beyond this, you find yourself becoming jealous over the long weekend but the jealously slowly ebbs into longing and then into an aspiration. This is what you want. You’ve got it all planned in your head. You're going to have one boy and one girl. You even have the names picked already. You can imagine them sitting by the log fire, chomping on turkey or playing endless card games in a small hill cabin next to a ski-slope. Of course in reality you live in Wales and this could never happen, but you can dream. Even so, spending time with this family helps you come to terms with a lot of things that you miss about your life back home. The things there are practically the same as back home, the food, the culture, the language – but with slight differences. Pronunciation is a little different. Food taste, a little different. Card games, a little different. Different rules, different styles, different times.

It's so bizarre to change time zones by driving a few hours in a car and not even changing country or state. Scott’s uncle, Ray, although slightly crazy, is really into history and geography so it's taken for granted when he starts conversations the entire six hour drive. He keeps saying “Scott, you have to go to the badlands” , “to Sioux City” , “to the Mall of America” , “to a baseball, basketball, football game” “to...” listing about three thousand historical locations. Fortunately, that weekend you cover a few of the endless places he listed to Scott. When you arrive it's very late, pitch black, ice. An old car slowly chugging its way through mountains until you finally reach your destination.

They all immediately fall into bed; or onto the settee in your case, which had been lovingly smothered in blankets and pillows by Scott’s grandmother. You wake with the morning and are surrounded by bright white. You imagine you've died and woken up in heaven. The snow. You have never seen so much snow in your life. It is magic. Clean, crisp, untrodden snow. You take hundreds of photos, more than people would ever want to be shown, but you're in awe. The contrast of dark pine to the cool, clear white covering the surrounds. Fresh and new. Everyone goes about their day as normal but you find yourself wrapping up warm and sitting out on the balcony and watching people ski down the hard ski-slope, aptly named ‘Little Hope.’ You hold your breath every time someone attempts to go over a little bump and pray to yourself that people who fall will get back up again. That the hand of God would just float on back and scoop them back up onto their skis or snowboards straight and tap them down safely. At least that's what Trey thinks.

Trey is a creationist (also Scott’s cousin) and he is quite the character. He has funny little lines he says all weekend, his favourite one would be shouting ‘Praise the Lord!’ after the majority of nice things he sees. “Look at that sunset, Praise the Lord!”, “This turkey is fantastic, Praise the Lord!” etc. However, your favourite quotation that you will always treasure from him was when you were out driving to Deadwood and you commented on the amount of dead deer there were strewn across the roads on the way: “You’d think natural selection would have stopped deer stopping at headlights and getting themselves killed, Darwin… Phffst.” Scott's face of desperate silence towards me begging please don't say anything keeps you fully amused until the end of the weekend.

It was rather funny that Scott all weekend is reading a book on how religion is flawed and his mother keeps commenting about it to provoke a religious debate. Luckily one does not ensue. You have no idea what you would say, but you're sure that the trip would end with either a very sceptical agnostic or an extreme creationist in a casket. Funnily enough, Trey has overtly religious views when they suit him. He didn’t seem to feel at all sinful when glugging his straight vodka from a water bottle or gambling $150 away at the casino in Deadwood.

You are underage so you can't gamble. Another thing you found strange. The legal age in Wales is eighteen. Scott isn’t into gambling much either, so you take a walk about the town instead. You find the old and new Salon number 10, where Wild Bill Hickok died. You then run into some Chinese tourists who want a photo taken. Scott takes the camera, and they start profusely shaking their heads, they want a photo with Scott and you. You ask why and they just giggle and run off. You imagine they want photos with a group of Americans. You feel like an imposter and you wonder if you could find that picture somewhere on Facebook. After that, you still wander around looking at the odd signs in the windows ‘No Motorcycle Colors’ , ‘If anyone is wearing apparel deemed as inappropriate and will start debate/conflict you will be asked to leave the premises.’ You would love to see a motorcycle gang. They would absolutely petrify you. But you still would love to see one.

You buy a big snuggie ‘Deadwood’ jumper for your mam as a present. She's a huge Deadwood, the TV show, fan so you have to take lots of photos of things to show her. The place does surprise you though, you expect it to be still rather in ‘olden times’ tradition, but it is filled with neon, garish, casino lights and there's a multitude of gambling houses. Some things are still there though, Salon number 10 and a few museums. It takes all your efforts not to burst into songs from the musical Calamity Jane the whole time you're there.

Thanksgiving dinner. It was the best food you eat you had started living in America. The look. The smell. The everything. Casseroles, turkey, stuffing, gravy, vegetables, fruit salad, pumpkin pie and Cool Whip (You suppress your urge to quote Family Guy). A glorious feast fit for kings, queens, dukes, duchesses and the like. But settles for you. You are sat at the ‘kids table’ along with Scott, his sister and one of his younger cousins, but you don't mind scootching in close and eating, the food is good enough to forgive this.

Three hours later, bellies full, and it is Christmas Day. The house was decorated for Thanksgiving in the morning. It then suddenly switches mid-afternoon time to Christmas, because Scott’s family spends it with one set of Grandparents and Thanksgiving with the other, and with that alternation comes Thanksmas or Christgiving, whichever one you prefer. They all huddle next to the roaring fire and exchange gifts. You think at this point you'll be overlooked, but it's pleasant enough watching from the outskirts. You are shocked when suddenly an emerald green box is placed in your hands by Scott’s parents.

They have bought you a few simple Christmas decorations. A Santa and Rudolph to hang up. You're then handed a flat wrapped gift from Scott, you unwrap it to find a ‘mix tape’ CD with songs that you both love and have sung together, the headliner being Downtown by Petula Clark, or new ones that he thinks you'll like. You smile.

The next day, you are thrust awake, far too early by a creationist sitting next to you and booming a rendition of ‘Rise and Shine, and give God the Glory, Glory!’ at your face. Trey then said two words you've been wanting to hear all journey. ‘Mount Rushmore.’ You get up quickly and get ready. Donning your far-too-big-for-you University hoody and snowboots. A mistake, you find later, when the weather turns hideously glorious outside. You have a really good all-American breakfast with the not so American, French toast. Scott and his sister pile heaps of syrup, peanut butter and cool whip on theirs. It slightly disturbs you and you tell them so. They call you weird for eating yours plain. You will never understand the Americans and their eating habits.

You heap into two cars and head to Mount Rushmore. About an hour long drive, so you get to hear lots of fun stories about the family, and learn a bit of history. You are told specifically, about three or four times that National Treasure 2 is wrong. There is no lake behind Mount Rushmore, no matter how many people believe in it. Rather like Jackalopes. Mount Rushmore is the first typically tourist thing you see, with the faces dynamited into rock and the shadows casting over, so you can only clearly see the two presidents on the ends. The main thing that shocks you though, is the size. It's so... small. It is obviously huge. But when looking at it you are a little underwhelmed compared to how is it depicted in movies and pictures. Maybe because it’s on a big hill. You're told the same effect happens with the Statue of Liberty which unfortunately you don't get to see due to lack of money at the end of your stay. That and the whole distance thing.

The day afterwards it's finally time to go home. You squeeze back into Scott’s rather cramped truck, as it's filled with leftover thanksgiving goodies and Christmas presents. You face the snow and start the drive home. Constant billboard signs begin, advertising ‘Wall drug’, ‘5 cents coffee and Wall drug’ and ‘Oh, No! You just missed Wall drug!’ Scott’s Uncle is made to turn around and head there to show ‘the foreigner’ what it is actually like. The most kitschy, horrendous place that is not worth the fuss and the less said about it the better.

That night, before you go to bed, you log into your laptop and do your regular social network check-up routine. You receive a message off your boyfriend Rob. ‘You've been celebrating Thanksgiving, so I thought I'd let you know what I'm thankful for. You.’ It makes you laugh because most of the time his idea of romance is watching the bloodiest horror film out at the time, and he is never that soppy, but it also makes you terribly homesick, you have not been forgotten back home. Not shocking you however is a message you read from your best friend Cole “Hey bellend, stop being all up in America and chuck some love my way sometime soon.” and though mildly insulting, you know she cares. It makes you start to think what you're thankful for.

This Thanksgiving comes at the perfect time because it actually makes you appreciate everything that you have. Even if it isn’t as ‘perfect’ as the family you have stayed with the past four days. You are thankful for your mam, who is always working so hard and supports everything you do, even if that means letting you go and travel half-way around the world. You are thankful for your brother for being the classic infuriating brother, but to be an amazing one at that, who you know will always be there for you and will be a substitute dad. You are thankful for Cole and Rob who stick by you through thick and thin, through every bad decision, through every ‘one more drink’ that turns into twenty and

for being the best people to define the quote ‘You can’t choose your family, but you can choose your friends,’ yet actually becoming a part of it. And you are extra thankful for Scott and his family to let you share their holiday, their home and their love. We need a Thanksgiving back home. It wouldn’t hurt a lot of people to realise what they actually have and to cherish it. You have no idea how much the little simple things mean until they’re gone.

“So take me back to the black hills
the black hills of Dakota
to the beautiful Indian country
that I love"

I'm going to be unconventional to my "List of Five" rules and post another song right at the bottom of this list. Purely because I want to show that I'm not a complete sops. This song I just like. Mainly because I can dance like a moronic chipmunk on acid to it:

PENDULUM – BLOOD SUGAR